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User blog:WonderPikachu12/Gruntilda vs The Wicked Witch of the West. Epic Rap Battles: Video Games vs History Season 3
Whoops. Changing the order already, huh? This battle kind of goes against what I'm usually against in battles, being parodies facing off against the original inspiration, in this case Gruntilda being a blatant parody of The Wicked Witch of the West. Admittedly, the main reason I did this was for the sake of having a female vs female battle this season. Yeah, I know, ew, SWJ shit and all, but honestly, there are very few notable female villains in video games that would be good for their own battles. GLaDOS is the biggest female villain in video games, and she was already used up in season 1, so rip. Could've done GLaDOS vs Marie Antoinette but nop. So yeah, a mostly "doing it just cause females" match-up. Plus, people seemed to want it as well, so why not? Big, big, big thank you to Dragon for writing for the role of Gruntilda. As he's a big fan of Banjo-Kazooie, he was my go-to choice to cast as Gruntilda, and you can expect him to guest as Banjo and Kazooie themselves in a future installment. ;) 'Main antagonist of the Banjo-Kazooie series, Gruntilda Winkybunion, and main antagonist of Wizard of Oz and main protagonist of Wicked, the Wicked Witch of the West, see which witch is which in an original vs parody battle.' ---- PROLOGUE: The crowded room already seemed to have dwindled noticably smaller, and only two fights had since passed. Gruntilda waddled her way through the crowd, looking around. She was growing bored of the crowd already, waiting around for people to leave one-by-one. It was tiresome, and she sought to find entertainment before her own time would come. However, that would come sooner than expected, as she approached a mirror. She adjusted her hat, her robe, fixed her hair, looked over her wart-covered pointed nose and chin, adjusted her scarf...wait, she wasn't wearing a scarf in her reflection, what the fuck. Gruntilda stumbled back in shock. Now towering over her, from behind a picture frame placed randomly in the center of the room for no reason in particular other than to be a plot device, was the Wicked Witch of the West. "And what, might I ask, do you think you're doing looking like me?" The Wicked Witch snapped at her with a snarl. "Quite a question that sure is, but not even I know the answer to this!" Gruntilda remarked, scratching her chin as she pondered this. She was swiftly struck by the Wicked Witch's broom. "Ow! For what purpose was that? I did not deserve such an attack!" The Wicked Witch huffed angrily. "Quiet! You have blatantly copied my style, and I hate it when people steal what is rightfully mine...this case being my own iconic look!" "I did not steal, that is a lie! I would do no such crime!" Gruntilda stomped on the floor in frustration. The WIcked Witch would then smack Gruntilda with her broom again, sending her rolling back. "You kidnap a child just in an attempt to look beautiful, and you claim stealing my look is beneath you?" Gruntilda hopped to her feet, hopping onto her broom. "It is about time that you flee! Follow the yellow brick road back to Sesame Street!" The Wicked Witch followed suit, hopping onto her own broom. "I'll crush you under that rock again, my pretty!" "PORTAL!" Bowser's voice roared through the corridor, and in an instant, the two witches flew off down the hall and through the portal. "Us capped magic users always seem to be akin to riding brooms," one of the Magikoopa holding open the portal remarked. "I know, right?" The other responded with a smirk. ---- (Starts at 0:01) EPIC RAP BATTLES: VIDEO GAMES VS HISTORY VS BEGIN! The Wicked Witch of the West: (0:13) Double, double, toil, and trouble... Fire burn, and cauldron bubble... Fillet of a phony fake... In the cauldron, boil and bake! You must be Nuts & Bolts if you believe you can defeat me! With armies of flying monkeys, I'm known to conquer Winkies! My magic is fantastic! You just rely on science! Your might is Microsoft, where as I'm feared by lions! Hog Breath is a mess, where as I'm a step above the rest! I can rap any curse, vex, or hex. No one mourned your death. You'd kill your sisses over quizzes! I've been known to school fools! I'll get you, my ugly, and your failed franchise, too! Gruntilda: (0:48) Dingpot, Dingpot, I bring the question that I have pitched. Who here, in this lyrical fight, is the better looking witch? It's Grunty any day! She takes my breath away, To which Elphaba over there will soon be slayed! That’s right! As all it takes to kill her is a drinking fountain, While I'm so powerful, I got my own face on a mountain! Take a try at my Furnace Fun, but you’re bound to lose. I'll best your broadway off any Avenue, because that’s my Q! You better Stop 'n' Swop out those lines, cause they are cheesy as Cheatos. Rhymes defying gravity? Please! I’ve seen sweeter lines from Honey B., though! Because it’s Rare to lose against a scarecrow, a tin man, and a beastly coward. This wicked girl should Get N or Get Out because now you're playing with power! The Wicked Witch of the West: (1:23) Your rhymes are mumbo jumbo, but that's not a first for you! Your monster friends can't stand against my flying monkey crew! You see, this unoriginal hack just can't seem to be really mean, Because she's simply a rip-off both me AND the Evil Queen, And she relies on machines! Don't you have a kid to kidnap? Elphaba? I'm not that weak girl, cause you know I spit a sick rap! You're more moronic than your sisters, and nothing left of you will remain, Because when it comes to flops like you, there's no place like a grave! Gruntilda: (1:56) It seems I came back from the dead thanks to my Twisted Sisters, While your sister was grounded all thanks to a house-droppin' twister. Would’ve used The Big-O-Blaster, but it already seems you have no life, As you kidnap a homesick farmer’s girl all because of your fashion strife! You must be on Cloud Cuckooland if you really think you're in my ranks. Your flying monkeys are nothing once they face off against my tank. From The Industries to Bucket Bays is the way this witch’s power spreads, All the way to Munckinland because ding dong! This wicked bitch is dead! WHO WON? WHO'S NEXT? EPIC RAP BATTLES-''' (A magic spell is cast over the logo, turning it into a toad.) '''...ribbit...VS HISTORYYYYYYY ---- EPILOGUE: Mario was rushing along the side of a mountain, making his way up to a castle. It'd been a long day since his journey had begun, but he wasn't ready to give up. Suddenly, there seemed to be an explosion coming from the sky. Mario looked up, seeing two witches flying around on their brooms. "You call that an attack? I already killed you once, I can do it again! And then I'll do the same to your sisters!" "Stay still, you fiendish witch, so I may blast you into a ditch!" "You're as poor a shot as you are a character! Don't you have a franchise you should be rotting in?" "I'LL KILL YOU QUICK, YOU COLD-HEARTED BI-" Out of the blue, the both were suddenly knocked right off of their brooms. Mario, equipped with his cape power-up, had soared from the top of the mountain and right down onto the two. He landed right on one of their brooms, watching as the two witches fell to their untimely demise. "Mama-mia!" Mario flinched, before looking away. The broom seemed to have a mind of its own, bringing Mario along with it as it flew off into the distance. Hopefully, it would end up taking him one inch closer to Bowser's castle. ---- Who won? Gruntilda The Wicked Witch of the West Here's a hint for the next battle: Here's a hint for the next Dragon Rap Battles: Dragon ripped me off. :( Hints for this battle explained: Toad - A typical stereotype among witches is that they turn people into toads, jokingly referred to using the Mario species Toad here. Halloween - Witches are traditional icons for the Halloween holiday. Category:Blog posts